Her Manners Are Her Beauty

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Her Manners Are Her Beauty *

Take The Essential Modern Etiquette Test & Prove To Yourself That You Are HER ✨

Please, do not feel pressured to answer all the questions perfectly on first go. Do it at your own pace, & check yourself if needed. On the first round, use the materials from The Feminine Way program, and your notes - answer questions based on those. I believe in you, sweetie!

Answer each question in your head, and check yourself after 🩶

  • …to not visibly notice when someone does something wrong!

    A Lady makes sure everything is smooth and there’s no awkwardness in the air.
    Confidence & Moderation are HER core principles for behaving in a society.

  • “A good upbringing means not that you won't spill sauce on the tablecloth,
    but that you won't notice it when someone else does.”

    (Anton Chekhov - Russian playwright and short-story writer, 19th Century)

  • Types of Etiquette:

    1. Military Etiquette

    2. Court Etiquette [think - ‘Suits’ Series hehe]

    3. Diplomatic Etiquette

    4. Social Etiquette / Social Graces (includes Business Etiquette) – we cover this & only this type of etiquette in this program

    5. Religious Etiquette

  • RESPECT.

    At the centre of it all – RESPECT. At times when you’re unsure of how to act, just remember this word, and try your best to act accordingly: maintain the beautiful balance between respecting yourself and your environment.

Her In Public Spaces

Answer each question in your head, and check yourself after 🩶

    • youngest to oldest

    • a man to a woman

    • subordinate to the leader

    • fans to the subject of adoration

  • Etiquette recognizes that courtesy and safety go hand in hand. It's about being attentive and protective, without sacrificing politeness.

She Is Outside

  • A Gentleman leads his Lady to his right.

    Being on the right side is considered the most respectful position - so ladies, whether you are on the street, inside the building, or at the table - make sure you are on the right side. If you are with another woman, or someone who you incredibly respect - make sure they are to your right (you walk/sit on the left side)

  • We want to protect the person that we care about or respect from all the possibilities of discomfort: people, spray from under the wheels.

  • Yes, sometimes danger can be coming from the left side, so a Gentleman shall ignore the “etiquette rules” and have his partner on the left side.

  • A Gentleman holds your hand very tight, in case the flow tries to split you up.

  • So, this is a scenario for a couple with perfect manners:

    If a SHE is holding any kind of item in her hands, HE has to take it from her and carry it for her. But if SHE strongly insists on carrying it herself - then a Gentleman shall not insist on it. In that case, it would be appropriate to bow softly and accept his Lady’s will.

  • A Gentleman shall walk/stand on the opposite side where a woman is carrying her back. Usually, female bags are designed to be on the right shoulder/hand of the woman. And vice versa for men. Which means - a man shall be to her left.

  • Be light & appreciative of it. There are not that many gentlemen left in this world after-all!

    A Gentleman might be nervous (they are all usually are, I’ll tell you that!) - we pretend that we don’t notice it, so we continue smiling, talking & following his lead.

  • If there are 2 men, and a woman - then etiquette suggests to place a woman between men, so she’s safe.

Answer each question in your head, and check yourself after 🩶

You are so intelligent, honey! Keep exploring your excellence!

  • Older people.

    • Women

    • Older People

  • In case of collision, fall, or sprays from under the wheels, one should apologise and liquidate the consequences.

    {From Leyla}: Usually, gentlemen should be responsible for liquidating the consequences. However, as a sign of respect or kindness - I’d also suggest to do that as a woman. That always shows your humility & modesty ❤️

  • One mustn’t be overly obsessive regards to protecting someone from others

    • Make sure to stay close to the right side of the flow

    • Don’t walk into others

    • Don’t suddenly stop walking

    • Don’t change the direction of walking sharply

    • Don’t stay in the flow while speaking or looking at something

  • All of the above-mentioned actions can disturb others or cause trouble.

    A woman with an elegant mind prevents trouble, & makes sure the situation is under control. However, she accepts the mistakes & failures with kindness and smile on her face. Whether that’s her own mistake, or others’.

    • Move aside from the main stream of people, without causing any difficulties to others

    • If your acquaintance is not alone:

    1. Make eye contact with him/her;

    2. He or she should the the initiator of connection;

      (Perhaps, your interference is not welcomed - we never know until we look them in the eyes!).

    3. In case they made a signal “I can’t talk with you right now, sorry” with their eyes, or by moving their head slightly - just move slightly smile & look down or forward, and continue your path.

  • Eye-contact is an extremely important sign in European etiquette. It’s a psychological factor that can open a conversation.

    And breaking eye contact is considered as the end of the conversation or unwillingness to continue the conversation.

    • Do not scream his/her name

    • Do not try to take their hand or clothes

  • …asking your acquaintance intrusive questions [we don’t want to examinate them]:

    “where are you going“

    “where were you just now“

    “what did you buy“

    Keep the conversation light & casual:

    “Oh hi! This is so unexpected - what are you doing here? How’s your life, how’s everything?” - ask without expecting that they will go too much in-detail, they are not obliged to tell you the details of their life. You can use this with a good old friend.

    “Honestly, I’m so happy to see you again“ - say it if you mean it.

    “I am glad you are alive & healthy!” - neutral saying, with a touch of humor!

  • Do not go into too much detail

  • No. It is not advisable to turn around to look at someone, or point finger at something

Elegant women are elegant at all times. Even when someone doesn’t see them!

  • That’s a no-no.

    *Leyla: “I’d say - unless you are on a romantic date, & as an ‘out-of-the-ordinary’ gesture, you decide to eat some gelato while you are walking somewhere in a small town of Italy. That’d be quite romantic ;) ”

  • You mustn't throw litter in the street. Even when no-one sees. That’s RESPECT towards the hard work of street cleaners, people who have built the streets and beautiful buildings, as well as to the whole city.

  • “Excuse me,...”
    “May I ask you,..”
    “Could you, please, help me with…”

    With a light expression & a smile on our face. Open body language, respectful yet reserved.

  • If you were approached by someone and they asked you to help them with navigation, finding a certain place or anything else - then, please, help them, do not be rude.

  • Yes. We have mastered the Art of Conversation, and we answer people with kindness, rather than negativity.

    *Leyla: The strongest, wisest people I know - are kind, adaptable & witty at all times. They are the most successful as-well. Truly successful, in all areas of their life.

In The Car

Answer each question in your head, and check yourself after 🩶

  • The driver is responsible for taking care of passengers while boarding and alighting. The driver personally helps everyone get in the car and out of the car.

  • “Seat of honour” (back right seat): for a woman, the oldest person, or for someone who has the highest status
    “Behind the driver”: second most honourable seat
    “In the middle”: you can sit there if you are in representative class cars. In other cases it should remain empty (usually).
    “Near the driver”: for a translator or for the accompanying person

  • 1) Ladies first. A Gentleman helps a Lady to sit on the back seat (right).

    • or a Gentleman helps an older person to sit on the back right seat

    • or a Gentleman helps a person of a higher status to sit on the back right seat

    2) The middle and left back seats.

    • Gentlemen help ladies to take their seat

    • Men can seat on their own

    • If a man decides to help another man to seat - that would be a sign of extreme respect, and there’s nothing wrong with that

    3) At last, the driver and the front seat passenger are taking their places

  • Gently & Calmly, Elegantly, with no rush, with a smile on your face, ask: “Could you, please, give me your hand?”

  • Vice Versa compared to getting in!

    Gentlemen should help the ladies to get out of the car. There are so many peculiarities that make it hard for us, women: high heels, tight skirt/dress, high curbs etc.

  • Being the Driver is one of the most important roles in the car. He is like a captain of a ship - he leads, and takes care of everyone.

Hold The Door For Her!

Answer each question in your head, and check yourself after 🩶

    • A man - lets a woman go first

    • Younger - Older

    • Employee - Employer

  • The traditional order is applied ONLY when the one ‘‘who let’s others go first’’ knows the place, when we know what’s behind those doors, when we know that there’s no danger in the building or in the room that we’re entering.
If you’re entering an unknown place, the order changes completely.

    If we don’t know what’s behind the doors:

    • A man goes first into the unknown, and leads his woman a bit behind but near him

    • A younger person goes first, and then lets an older one 

    • An employee goes first, to check on any danger, and then let’s someone who’s of a higher status enter the room as-well.

    • Into the elevator

    • Into the doors of a big restaurant (when you’ve never been there before)

    • Into the doors of a room or a building when you know there can potentially be negative interactions (let’s say - you know that on the first floor of the building you’re entering there’s a very strict and forever bitter/angry gateman, that shouts at everyone (or maybe always gives unneeded critique. In this case, a man shall prevent it by entering first and dealing with situation OR take the ‘beating’ on himself)

    • When you’re getting out of the public transport (showing care, because we know that a gentleman will offer his hand to his lady when she’s stepping out if the transport)

    • Do not pass by too closely to the doors (to avoid being hit)

    • Hold a heavy door for those who’re behind you (so they’re not hit)

    • Do not slam the door in front of someone’s face

  • At work the hierarchy of respect is different, someone who’s inferior status-wise shall open doors for someone who’s higher on the hierarchy ladder. Hence, a woman shall not expect chivalry from her male-colleague (let’s say, if a woman is an assistant, and she’s entering the same room with the CEO of the company - he’ll go first).

  • If a male-colleague WANTS to show more respect to a woman, then he can, let’s say, open a door for her. In business-etiquette gender does not really exist, so when a man shows his fellow female colleague signs of chivalry - then that’s considered as special treatment, or a sign of respect (or perhaps he likes her), or old-school manners.

Look! SHE’s Walking Down The Stairs!

Answer each question in your head, and check yourself after 🩶

  • Remember: a Man always goes first. Up & Down.

  • Going up the stairs - a man shall go first, so he protects a woman from any danger (+ so a woman feels comfortable that a gentleman is not allegedly glaring at her buttocks).

  • When going down the stairs, it is appropriate for someone who cares about his partner to step in first, and he’d be holding his lady’s hand, so she doesn’t slip or fall.



    Same with children, or older people. We want to let someone that we care about go after us, so we can offer them a hand. The rule works while going up or down.

  • To the right side

  • Be polite, attentive, helpful and grateful. You shouldn’t:

    • Push people

    • Suddenly stop

    • Disturb others at the railing (where our hands land as we are going up or down)

    • Block the way for those who’re carrying heavy things

In The Elevator

Answer each question in your head, and check yourself after 🩶

  • The man STEPS IN first, then his lady follows, or a child, or an older person.  This particular rule is written in all official manuals on “how to use an elevator”.

    • There could be someone/something dangerous standing in the elevator

    • We don’t want our children (or people that we care about - women, elderly) to go first in the elevator, because imagine that the doors close. It means that can step out on any floor, and you wouldn’t know which one. But if you’re the one who steps in first – you’ll quickly go back to the floor on which you left your loved ones.

  • It depends on the situation. As ladies, we let our man lead. Because there could be 2 scenarios happening:

    1. On one side - sometimes we don’t know what will happen once we step out of it. So it’d be rational for a man to go first, so he can protect us.

    2. On the other side, what if the man goes first, and the elevator is crowded, so we are left behind - and here we are - we’re lost, and we don’t know what can happen with us in the elevator, or on which floor we need to step out.

    A Gentleman will tell you “After you” - then you will go first. Or, he will take your hand, and he will say “Follow me” - and you will follow his lead.

  • In the elevator, it is not advisable to: Eat, Drink, Smoke, Enter it in dirty clothes, Push people, step on legs (if it happened, then one should apologise)

HER… In A Restaurant

Who goes first?

  • a lady goes first, a man is behind her.

    1. First, a gentleman enters a restaurant (holding the door for a lady of course)

    2. A gentleman is speaking with the head-waiter who’ll invite them to their table (reserved or unreserved)

    3. And then the gentleman is offering his lady to go first (in front of him), since he took care of everything

    • the gentleman goes first,

    • he offers his lady to choose a table, and then follows her

    • (His lady can decline the offer of choosing a table and ask the gentleman to choose it for them – then the gentleman makes his choice, and asks if she agrees with it).

  • During the cold season the procedure of “entering the restaurant” looks like this: a Gentleman...

    1. Helps his lady to take off her coat or any other outerwear

    2. Does that himself after

    • The Gentleman helps his lady to sit down: he moves the chair so she can comfortably come closer to the table, and while she’s sitting down – a gentleman moves the chair closer to her (BUT without hitting her legs, in order to exclude the possibility of her falling onto the chair)

    • The lady shouldn’t “jump” with the chair, but instead choose the most comfortable position as it is.

  • At the table a gentleman lets his woman sit to his right  (remember – position of being on the right is the position of being honoured or cared about).

  • If you were offered a small or round table, then you can sit face-to-face.

  • The woman chooses the food for herself, the man tells the order for herself and himself.


    Leyla:* I personally like to let a man choose the food for me - it’s nice to let them feel that they are in charge of what I eat + they take it as a challenge (Gentlemen love to be a little challenged).

  • The man chooses beverages, his lady does or does not agree with the choice. The man is tasting the wine if they’ve chosen to consult with sommelier.

  • You cannot use a toothpick at a table

  • A woman cannot do her makeup at a dining table either

The dinner is here!

  • If the food was made badly, then the man, in a very calm, almost secretive way talks with a waiter and asks him to change the dish, or make a new one.

  • If a woman drops something (a napkin, or cutlery), the man mustn’t go under the table to pick it up. A waiter will do it for you, or somebody else from the staff at the restaurant.

  • If the man drops something as-well, you don’t pick it up.

  • While dining, a sign of good manners of a Gentleman would be to look after his lady [if you, as a woman, are dining with someone of higher status, someone you respect or love (family, for instance) - follow these rules too].

    A Gentleman will:


    • Offer the food


    • Offer to pass on salt/pepper (or spices, or oil/balsamic etc)


    • Pour water or any other beverage


    • BUT!!! The woman is the one pouring tea or coffee (unless the waiter does it).


    • When offering food or appetizers from a common dish, a Gentleman will move the plate closer to you, and you can take the food yourself.



    • BUT!!! If the Gentleman would want to take extra care of you - he will put the food onto your plate himself {A VERY Nice Gesture on Dates from your partner}.

Then he will place the dish onto its initial place.

  • In case you are at the table with people, and all of you are of the same status (with colleagues, or on official breakfasts/lunches), then you can offer each other beverages or appetizers: “Oh, have this! Try out this one!”, - but it’s better to place food onto your plate on your own. 



    Beverages are being poured by everyone (one after another), or a waiter does it.

  • a nod of the head.

    Women are greeted by men. Men stand up when a woman is entering the room.

  • It is not polite to force your presence to the people that you know, or don’t know (especially!)



    Let’s say – you’ve noticed some people that you know sitting at a table not far away from yours. You may come closer & just say hi. But it is not advisable to force your presence & sit at their table without them offering it.



    Equally, you cannot leave your guests/people that you are with at your table.

Moreover, it is not advisable to sit at the table with strangers and harass them with your presence.

  • It is not polite of a man to offer a dance to a lady that he knows if she doesn’t sit at his table. It is always better to stick to your own company.
Equally, it is not polite to strike up a conversion with a stranger. Stick to your own company.

Who’s paying the bill?

  • In today’s world of etiquette it is natural when a man pays for the bill for his spouse, beloved one, or female relative.

  • In other cases:

    1. Friends/Colleagues make the “who’s paying” decision beforehand. Variants:
      - 50/50
      - Every man for himself
      - One of the participants pays for everyone as a sign of care & respect. That person offers that himself/herself, but shouldn’t insist too much.

    2. Between groups of colleagues, during a business meeting in a restaurant (parity conditions) – follow the same rules mentioned above (point 1).

    3. If one of the parties initiated the meeting (a dinner at a restaurant, business lunch etc), it’d be logical to consider that that person offers to pay for it. It is appropriate to say here that if the other person insists on splitting, it is fine as-well.

  • Appropriate amount: 5-25% from the whole sum of the dinner
    (In case you’re paying with cash) It is not appropriate to leave the exchange if it’s just coins [such a gesture is considered as if you’re throwing those coins into their face]. Either take it with you, or add up to 5-25%

  • When leaving the restaurant (ot other public in-door spaces), we might end up in 2 situations while being in the cloakroom:


    1. There is a coat-check persona that helps people get dressed.
      - First, a gentleman is getting dressed with the help of a coat-check
      - Then the gentleman himself helps his lady to wear her coat (think: “This is my woman, I am the one taking care of her, and I won’t others have such a privilege”)
      - The gentleman can tip the coat-check persona


    2. There is a self-service cloakroom.
      - The man helps his lady to get dressed (he can hold his coat on the crook of the elbow)
      - Then he helps himself get dressed

Theatre Time

In today’s world, the etiquette requirements for theatre are becoming softer & more democratic. But don’t let others fool you - take your appearance seriously. Theatre - is an evening event, so the etiquette requires you to dress elegantly.

    • Men help women take off their coats;

    • Then men help themselves undress;

    • Both take off headwear (hats etc);

    • All items are handed in for storage (including backpacks & large bags);

    • A man keeps the number keys;

    • Women must not fix their hair, outfits or makeup in the cloakroom - use a toilet room, or rooms specifically made for that

  • A Gentleman is the one entering an unknown place, and leading his woman to their seats.

    Why - again, we never know what or who could be in the auditorium. It’a a new place. A big one. Where there could be a lot of danger.

  • A Gentleman is the one going first into the row, asks permission to go from those who have already taken the seats, & apologises for the inconvenience 


  • You must face the people, while you are walking towards your seats
    Walk in a row facing the seated, with your backs facing the stage
    Do not show your back (your buttocks) to the ones who are seated!!!

  • The Lady sits down first, the Gentleman sits down to her left, so the woman is to his right - “the right hand rule - the person that we respect and take care of should be to our right”.

  • If it is a double-theatre-date, then the women are seated in the middle, while the men are on the corners.

  • After the third call - do not try to go into the middle of the row!

During The Performance…

  • It is unacceptable to stand up or walk around

  • Turn off your phones (but if you really-really HAVE TO reply to a business text - then lower the brightness

  • Do not talk
    Do not cough
    Do not sing along
    Do not stomp your feet
    Do not chew, don’t eat at all
    Do not rustle with wrappers (sweets, chips, etc)

  • Do not eyeball the audience (don’t look at people too closely)

  • Do not make remarks to strangers (even if it disturbs you). You don’t have time to educate them, and you will make even more noise by talking & arguing. There are staff ushers in the auditorium - they will take care of it.

    If the staff doesn’t see the problem - walk up to them during the break [in-between the performance], politely &calmly explain the situation, and let them resolve it

  • Do not place anything on the rails of lodge or balconies (bags, magazines, glasses etc)


  • If you need to leave - you have to wait till entr’acte (even if you don’t like the performance).
Wait till the 1st Act ends - then leave.

  • Do not bring in flowers into the auditorium. Even if you want to congratulate or express your ovations by giving the flowers to the artists - you should give them to staff ushers right before entering the auditorium - so they will give it to the artists/performers at the end of the performance, or they wil take it behind the scenes.

    • in the beginning of the performance after the curtain rises, or after the entrance of a conductor & orchestra;

    • during the performance, when a really respected actor appears as a sign of greeting & respect;

    • as a sign of well-played scenes, replicas, monologues, solo arias, fouettés, improvisations;
      during the performance of long concert cycles after each piece is finished.

  • Applause at the end - a pleasant & joyful ritual. Do not leave the room before the applause ends. It is unbearably rude.

In A Temple

You don’t have to know all the rules & rituals, but you should be aware of customs.

  • In a Christian Church: a man takes off headwear, a woman covers her hair with a hat or a scarf;

  • In an Islamic Mosque: take off your shoes, men cover their heads with a specific headwear, women are covered from head to toe. Usually women are stand in the back, or are in a separate room;

  • In a Jewish Temple: Jewish men cover their heads with a kippah, women use wigs or hats, and are in a separate room;

  • In a Buddhist Temple - datsan - you must take off your shoes & walk on special lanes that you cannot leave as a visitor

HER Traveling Etiquette

  • You should arrive to the airport in advance. We do this because we respect the time of others;

    • check-in ends approximately an hour before the flight (Economy Class & Business Class);

    • check-in ends approximately 20 minutes before the flight (First Class);

  • When entering the plane - greet the Cabin Crew & your seat neighbours;


  • Do not intrude the peace of others with your conversations, even with safe topics. Keep in mind that people might have a fear of flying - so:

    • stay away from using black humour,

    • do not mention any air accidents

  • It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

    Some people might get a panic attack, even if they are calm & collected usually.

  • Remember: say thank you when arriving to the new airport, when leaving the plane; be grateful to the Cabin Crew & their work.


    And honestly - just be a nice person, their job is really hard, physically, emotionally, mentally. Be understanding & always say thank you with a smile on your face.

On a Plane & In Airports

    • think through all the peculiarities of your luggage - should be neat, and compact, not too big (booking the lower seat does not mean that the luggage place is fully yours);


    • prepare all the necessary goods in a way that will be handy - so you don’t disturb fellow travellers;


    • take care of your hygiene - so you don’t disturb co-passengers with unpleasant odor. Do not use too strong perfume either

      plan your meals & how you will eat them - stay away from irritating smells;


    • choose the outfit & a pair of sparing shoes suitable for the road (it is not acceptable to be in an outerwear or inappropriate [too revealing, dirty] clothing during a long ride

  • You don’t have to explain who you are to co-passengers in a coupe. You can greet them and say goodbye at the end - that would be enough. In an unknown country - ask the conductor about the appropriate amount for tipping (if it’s custom to tip the conductor for help).

    • be cautious, offer help to women and elderly (they can ask for help as-well);

    • don’t be intrusive with offerings of help or conversations;

    • choose the topic for conversations wisely and with caution - your relationships with bosses, husbands and fiances, political discussions wouldn’t be that much of an interest to random co-passengers that you never met before

  • In a coupe - do not talk loudly, have your private conversations in undertones;

  • It is not acceptable to have visitors in your coupe;

  • During the day, the lower seats are meant for the ‘upper’ passengers too, so they can sit on it;

  • No.

  • If you were asked to leave the room, so your travelling neighbours could prepare for sleep or change their clothes - you must do so;

  • While eating - you must place napkins on the table, and eat neatly, so you don’t leave stains;

  • It is not advisable to invite travel-mates for the meal - so you don’t disturb them. Remember - everyone lives by their own time while traveling. If you want - you can offer something that you have for the tea;

  • The table in a coupe - for everyone’s use. You mustn’t take up space with your personal things on it;

  • If traveling with children - you have to watch them really-really carefully - for their security and peace of others!

    Do not scream at them, prevent things.

  • Generally, in most of the trains of the world - no smoking.

    As well as, no opening the windows.

  • Carefully & On-time - pack your belongings and prepare yourself for leaving, say goodbye to fellow travellers, and if needed - help elderly with their luggage or help them to walk out of the train carefully;

On a Train

  • REMEMBER: The first person on a ship of any class is the captain - His Word Is Law. The Captain is the one creating the rules & ship etiquette.

  • Follow the instructions of the crew while boarding, during the journey, and when leaving the ship. This is essential for the safety of absolutely everyone!


  • While traveling, make sure to specify:

    • dress-code for breakfasts, lunches, dinners

    • time schedule for each meal, your table & seat

  • Allow yourself to dress extra-fancy for the Sunday Dinners on a cruise

  • Receiving an invitation from the captain to his table - always a great Honour!


  • Introduce yourself to the co-passenger in your cabin. But do not impose your presence excessively.


  • It is very natural to get to know your neighbours at the table & conduct conversations with them

  • Do not forget seasickness medicaments!

    Think ahead, and take them with you. Even if you don’t have the tendency to have it - take the medicaments just in-case.

On a Cruise